If Heaven's Grief Brings Hell's Rain
by sammysmissingshoe
Summary: Sam's soul is in Hell with Michael and Lucifer, but Dean didn't know that. What if he never found out, until it was too late? WARNINGS: Character death and scenes from the cage. (No slash, never slash)
1. I Thought of Angels

So, most of ya'll are gonna hate me for this story. There's really not a happy ending and there's so much angst that you might burst into flames on your ceiling so… sorry about that. This was originally gonna be a cage fic but naturally, (or should I say, _Supernaturally… _Okay I should stop trying to be funny) my screwed up imagination couldn't be pleased with that so of course it has to become this whole messed up story. Starts at the end of season 5 from, oddly enough, Lucifer and Sam's POV and goes on from there. Lastly, story and chapter titles from Fall Out Boy song. (Just One Yesterday)

* * *

The Devil tried to hide Sam from the present. He kept Sam trapped in his, strangely enough, happiest memories. The few times Sam felt normal inside a classroom, his first kiss with Jessica, the first time he… "spent the night" with her, but he never saw his past with Dean.

Lucifer knew that if Sam thought about Dean that he might try to fight him. He could have just forced Sam into a black pit of memories, but instead, he just let Sam relive his best moments, while Lucifer would make blood rain from the sky.

With Sam as his vessel, Lucifer could create all kinds of mayhem, mayhem for the humans anyway. To him the idea of fire engulfing the entire planet was a paradise.

Before he could accomplish that though, he had to face Michael, which should have been simple enough. Michael wasn't in his preferred vessel and Lucifer knew from personal experience how little power it granted him. Defeating Michael in that state should have been easy, there should have been nothing that could stop him.

But then, Dean Winchester had to show up. Just as the final battle was about to commence, there was the familiar roar of that ugly-ass car Dean drove around in.

Lucifer didn't understand the car's significance until the gleaming sun reflected off of it shined into Sam's eyes. He felt Sam come bursting out of his memories and try to take control.

Lucifer tried flooding Sam's mind with other pleasant memories, anything besides the ones with Dean that were fighting their way through. It was proving not to be enough, so he resorted to filling Sam's head with every incident when Sam had ever been in pain. Sam's control wavered, but he stood his ground… Theoretically anyway.

"_Sam," _Lucifer scolded to him, "_We both know I already won, just stop fighting and I'll let you go back to better moments."_

"_Not… letting you… hurt… Dean." _Sam sputtered out. Sam dropped to his knees as Lucifer increased the onslaught of memories in Sam's head.

"_We already have, but he deserves it, Sammy. He tried to leave you, remember?"_

Sam mustered up all of his strength. _"Not… doing… the same… to him!" _

Sam forced the Devil to the back of his mind. He ignored Lucifer's threats and promises and staggered back as he retook control. He looked at Dean's battered face. Behind the mask of pain, Sam could see Dean's fear.

"It's okay, Dean." He assured. "It's gonna be okay. I've got him."

He fumbled in his pockets for the rings Lucifer had, oh so stupidly, left behind. Sam tossed them on the ground and quickly recited the spell to open Lucifer's cage. The ground caved in beneath the rings and a deep black pit stood in their place.

The wind rushed furiously whipping Sam's hair around his face, and drew him in closer to the abyss. He looked down into the seemingly never ending chasm and Lucifer's voice screamed inside his head.

"_All those memories will be _nothing _compared to what you'll feel if you jump. Don't do this, Sam."_

Sam glanced back to Dean's bloodied and broken face. _"If I do this, Dean can have the normal life he's always deserved." _He nodded fearfully to Dean and prepared to jump.

An unexpected hand on his shoulder turned Sam's attention to the angel who was wearing his little brother. After realizing that there was no stopping Michael from pursuing the battle he wanted, Sam knew there was only one thing he could do.

"_I'm so sorry, Adam." _His thought as he reached forward and pulled Michael towards him.

"_Ooh, guess this means Michael's gonna join in on the fun too." _Lucifer teased.

And then Sam jumped.

The two, or was it really four, of them descended into the cage. Sam cherished the few seconds that they were falling. He figured it would probably be the last sensation he would ever feel again, besides an eternity of pain.

He knew his time was up when he collided on the surface of the ground. He felt Lucifer leave his body, none too gently. When he appeared before Sam, he looked like his previous vessel, Nick. Sam wasn't sure how that could have been possible. He reasoned that Lucifer's true from was probably too much for his mind to comprehend, so this was its way of compensating.

Lucifer momentarily ignored Sam and turned back to Michael. Michael had left Adam's body and was in the form of a young John Winchester. He bent over to Adam's shivering body and closed his eyes in concentration. He placed his hand on Adam's head and a radiating white light filled the room.

When the glow receded, Adam was gone and Michael collapsed on the floor, seemingly lifeless. Sam stared at the sight in disbelief.

"Well," Lucifer's arrogant voice snapped Sam's attention to him. "Guess Michael used up the last of his power to send his precious vessel back to heaven. That's just like him, doing one last good deed." He turned towards Sam. "Don't expect me to be so generous."

Sam couldn't stop his instincts as he uselessly backed away on the floor.

"Remember when I said I'd never hurt you, Sam?" Lucifer snapped his fingers and Sam was enveloped in flames. "Well, now I'm over it."

Sam held back his cries as he rolled around the bottom of the cage in a desperate attempt to extinguish the flames, but the fire only seemed to grow more angry.

A long chain slowly crept its way over Sam's neck, and held him in place on the floor. His fire blistered hands shot up to his neck to pry it off. As soon as his hand came in contact with the chain, it sizzled against his hand, which hurt even more than the fire.

He pulled his hand away hoping that it would cause the pain to cease. Being a Winchester had its benefits, such as never getting what you wanted, so naturally the burning continued. The stinging red chains dug further into his throat as the flames started to die down.

Similar chains wound their way over Sam's arms and they burned just as hot. The more he tried to struggle out of them, the tighter they cut into his limbs.

He snapped his eyes shut at the pain when a sudden rush of cold washed over him. Why would he be cold? A thought jumped into his mind that scared him to his core.

"_Most people think I burn hot, but it's actually quite the opposite." _

Sam dared to open his eyes. The sight of Lucifer towering over him didn't surprise him, but it still terrified him.

Lucifer bent down next to Sam, and looked at him with mock sympathy in his eyes, and gently ran his hand through Sam's hair.

"Sammy," Lucifer lowered his hand until it rested above Sam's chest. He plunged it through. "I warned you not to do that."

The restraints prevented Sam from doing much besides panting heavily as blood rose in his throat. Lucifer's hand dug around inside him, and Sam could feel the icy fingers searching for something inside him. Sam silently prayed he would find it soon and just, _please please oh gosh stop please, _take his hand out of him.

Lucifer's hand suddenly came into contact with something and his grasp tightened. Sam let out a small whimper as he felt the dead cold hands constrict inside of him.

Lucifer suddenly tore his hand out and Sam found the energy to scream. As Sam regained enough of his senses, he could make out a glowing ball trapped in Satan's grasp. It appeared to be wriggling away from Lucifer and trying desperately to get back into Sam.

Sam however, felt nothing. He was numb inside, and couldn't find the energy to care about anything. He willed himself to feel anything, but even the idea of terror was foreign to him.

"Lemme guess, feeling a little empty, Sammy?" Lucifer mocked.

"What… what did you do? What is that?"

"Ah, well, I was doing some thinking, there'll be plenty of time for that down here. As we were falling I thought to myself, 'Now sure, I could tear him apart cell by cell and he'd still have the guts to defy me, even if I ripped them out. His soul will always stay just as strong. Unless,'" He gestured to the radiating light. "'I went straight to the source."

"That… that's my…"

"Souls, in theory, are nearly impossible to break, especially a Winchester's. But, in the physical sense," His fist clenches again, and he squeezes and squeezes until there's a definite snap. "They're really quite fragile."

The second Lucifer had tightened his grasp, Sam curled in on himself as though his connection to his soul made him feel Lucifer's icy fingers forcing everything inside him to collapse.

"Torture to body, the soul can stay intact. Torture the soul, the body feels every last bit of it."

* * *

If you just wanted some Sammy torture you can stop here. I mean there's a heck of a lot more to come, but it's also where the depressing storyline comes into play. So no Dean yet, but he's coming up in the next chapter hopefully. And I know the whole Adam and Michael thing probably didn't happen, but I don't like the idea of Adam being trapped in the cage so hey, at least he's safe! He's pretty much the only one though. Everyone else better run and hide.


	2. Choking on Their Halos

Starts off with more Sammy and Luci time in the cage, and then we go topside to see some Soulless Sam and Dean. And yes, I know this is a little shorter than usual but, this is all I could get done before band practice tonight. If you haven't read warnings in the description, READ THEM NOW. Posted this ridiculously fast so sorry for mistakes, I'll fix them soon.

* * *

Lucifer didn't need to bother with restraining Sam's body anymore. The constant torment on Sam's soul kept Sam well and truly incapacitated. It wasn't until a bright shining light appeared in the room, that Lucifer regretted it.

When the light faded, Sam's body was gone. Lucifer threw Sam's soul to the ground in a fashion similar to a child having a tantrum. Sam's soul shattered at the harsh impact of the floor.

The Devil towered over the broken pieces of Sam's soul as it began to repair itself. No matter how brutal the torture, the soul kept hopelessly healing itself over and over at the end of the day.

"Ya know, this isn't gonna be any fun if I don't get to see the hope leave your eyes."

The familiar sound of Lucifer snapping his fingers echoed throughout the cage. This time however, it wasn't followed by agonizing pain.

Sam suddenly felt whole. He was no longer a small ball of light, his body was complete again.

"Well," Lucifer prompted. "Aren't you gonna thank me?"

Sam actually scoffed. "What? For making more of me for you to torture? Yeah, don't feel like thanking you for that."

"_I'm so gonna pay for that later."_

Lucifer lunged at Sam, and clamped a hand around his throat.

"_Or, maybe right now."_

Satan shoved Sam against the wall, and lifted him upwards. Sam fought for air weakly, and clawed at the hand crushing his windpipe. Sam's legs flailed hopelessly as he gasped for air. Even if he were to suffocate to death, he'd just come right back, which actually wasn't too pleasant of a process.

Right now though, all his focus was on his oxygen deprived lungs. Sam despised the fact that his next breath depended on Lucifer. He tried to summon a defiant glare, but his eyes kept darting up in a panic, as Lucifer continuously tightened his hand around Sam's throat.

Just as Sam's vision started to darken, Lucifer released him. Sam tried to catch himself, but his knees buckled underneath him, and he collapsed to his knees. He gasped and coughed as the much needed air filled his lungs.

"See that, Sammy?" Lucifer asked. "I'm the one that's letting you breath. It's a privilege, and I can take it away any time I want. You _will_ learn to appreciate it."

Sam didn't pay attention to Lucifer's threat. He barely heard him over his own labored breaths. Sam rolled over onto his back and let the air fill his lungs again. He only registered Lucifer's presence when he sensed something towering over him.

"Got something to say, Sam?"

Sam's inner-Dean came bursting through. "Yeah. Bite me."

Lucifer fisted his hand above Sam's chest, followed by an excruciating pressure on his heart. Sam's back arched off the ground as seemingly every organ began to fail, and all his bones simultaneously shattered.

His throat burned as it was again deprived of oxygen. Lucifer wasn't strangling him, so why couldn't he breathe? Sam suddenly recognized the sensation. The feeling was exactly the same from when Zachariah had torn out his lungs.

"_Oh, that again. Why is everything so obsessed with choking me?"_

Lucifer slowly twisted his hand and the pain intensified. Sam uttered a strangled gasp as he tried to refill his starved lungs.

"Think it's bad now, Sammy?" Lucifer unclenched his fist, and Sam took deep frantic breaths. "I've barely started."

* * *

Something was wrong with Sam. Sure, Dean was a wreck when he got out of Hell, but at least he went straight to Sam when he got out. Sam didn't come to Dean until a whole year later, and it was only due to the fact that Djinn's were coming to attack Dean.

Dean had been willing to overlook it for the time being. He was too overcome with relief that his brother was back.

That is, until Sam let Dean get turned into a vampire. Seriously, a freaking vampire! Sam had claimed that he didn't intend for it to happen, but Dean was starting to have his suspicions.

If only he would have realized sooner.

* * *

It was a simple enough hunt, at least it should have been. Demons had been causing all sorts of chaos, and they weren't too shy about it.

"_Newbies." _Dean thought bitterly.

While Dean was in the midst of killing his third demon, one had snuck up behind him. The demon swung his elbow and nailed Dean in the back of the head.

Dean lost consciousness for a moment. When he came to, the demon had snaked an arm around his throat and placed a blade at his cheek. Dean tried to break free of its hold, but he was still weak from the blow to his head.

"Hey, go easy there." Dean said in that casual Dean tone. "I'm not really used to getting this close to a guy."

The demon responded by digging the blade further into Dean's neck. The sound of heavy footsteps filled the room.

"Sam!" Dean warned.

Sam entered the room. He was completely unfazed by the sight of Dean with a blade at his throat.

"Step back, or your brother's gonna know the taste of steel down his throat." The demon threatened. "Get back!"

"Why?" Sam asked. "So you can run outta here, and keep on killing people? Yeah, don't think so."

"_Good job, Sammy. Now get me outta here."_

"I swear, I'll kill him."

Sam didn't blink. "Go ahead."

"What?" Dean exclaimed,

The demon smirked. "Have it your way." He raised the knife.

"Sam?" Dean met Sam's gaze. There was no deceit, no sign of comfort. It was empty. "Sam?" Dean pleaded one last time, before the blade struck his heart.

* * *

I warned you.


	3. I'd Trade All My Tomorrows

Hey look, I posted today! Thought maybe you'd hate me less if I got this up as quickly as possible. Wishful thinking though, you're gonna want to kill me when you're done with this either way. I went to the Doctor's today and got diagnosed with a serious case of Moffat disease. Side effects include giving major feels and breaking people's hearts.

* * *

It had been so long. So long since Sam had felt anything besides pain. So long since he had heard anyone else's voice besides Lucifer's. So long since he had seen Dean. Sure, there were times where Lucifer made himself look like Dean as he separated Sam's flesh from his bones, but Sam always knew it wasn't Dean. Not _his _Dean.

Besides Lucifer's never ending condescension, Sam could hear the cries of Hell, his own screams often blended with theirs. One thing that made Sam stand out, was how he refused to break.

The one thing Lucifer wanted was to hear Sam say was, "please." He made that very clear when he broke every one of Sam's bones, one by one.

_Sam had wanted to fight back, but having shattered legs tends to take away your motivation._

_Lucifer held Sam's hand up, and gently toyed with the fingers he intended to break. _

"_Just one little 'please,' Sam, that's all you have to say."_

_Every time Lucifer gave him the chance to talk, Sam made him regret it._

"_Go… to… Hell… Oh… too late."_

_Sam managed a small grin before his head went back on an agonized shout. The crack of bone reverberated off the walls of the cage. Pain sparked through Sam's hand. He held back his screams as best as he could, but it never lasted long. The only thing he could do as one last act of defiance, was force himself not to beg._

"_Wanna run that by me again?" The Devil taunted as he bent another one of Sam's fingers back, just on the verge of snapping. "Didn't really sound like a 'please' to me." He pushed back a little further until another crack was drowned out by Sam's scream. Tears burned in Sam's eyes, but he refused to let them fall._

"_Not… happening." His voice cracked helplessly. _

_Lucifer mercilessly dropped Sam's hand. The sheer force of it landing sent waves of pain up his arm causing a moan to pass Sam's lips._

_The fallen angel tugged Sam up by his collar and pulled Sam's head up until Sam met Lucifer's icy cold gaze._

"_I will break you, Sam Winchester, one way, or another."_

But he hadn't broken him yet. What little shred of dignity Sam had left was due to his refusal to give in. The closest thing he ever felt to pleasure was making Lucifer furious when he didn't beg. The downside was how Lucifer's rage only caused him to grow more creative.

Instead of using chains and ropes, Lucifer started pinning Sam to the floor by piercing blades through Sam's hands. It lessened his struggles while Lucifer gently stroked his kinfe all over Sam's skin.

"Ya know," Lucifer's voice was so calm and casual, sometimes Sam forgot why he was supposed to be afraid of him. He never had to wait long to remember. "You're lasting a lot longer than I thought you would, even longer than Dean had." Lucifer smiled. "At least, longer than the _first _time he was in Hell."

"Wha-" The word was cut off with a pained gasp as Lucifer buried the knife in Sam's stomach.

Lucifer slowly twisted the blade as he asked, "You haven't been listening to the screams very closely, have you?"

Sam forced himself to listen. Hearing those screams made him feel something Lucifer could never make him feel: sorry. He felt sorry for all the souls he couldn't save.

Lucifer loved to point out that even after his sacrifice, people were still being damned to Hell. Their cries became so constant that Sam had taught himself how to drown them out, but now he had to remember how to hear them.

When he finally did start to hear them again, one scream stood out. It was the scream he'd prayed he'd never hear, from the one he'd prayed he'd see again, but never like this.

"Dean?"

"Correctamundo, Sammy! The one person you tried to save just ends up right back here."

"No. You're… you're lying!"

"Don't have to this time, Sammy. You were always so good at telling whether it was really Dean, so go ahead. Listen reeeaaaal close, and tell me if I'm lying."

Sam didn't want to listen to "Dean's" scream, but it was only way to confirm that it wasn't Dean. The one sliver of hope that kept Sam together was the knowledge that Dean was okay. Sam needed to know that he still was.

The screams hurt Sam more than anything Lucifer could ever conjure up. His mind played a mantra over and over in his head.

"_It isn't Dean, it can't be Dean, please don't be Dean, it isn't Dean, it can't be Dean, please don't be Dean."_

"SAM!"

Sam's breathing stopped. The one thing that made Sam tell the difference between Lucifer's Dean and real Dean was Lucifer's lack of caring. Lucifer was a little brother, he would never capture Dean's protective nature. And he could never make Dean sound hurt, but the way Dean screamed his name, it was a plead for help. Lucifer never understood pleas for help. That meant it could only be one thing.

It was Dean.

"NO!" Sam screamed. "DEAN! NO!"

Lucifer shut him up by ripping the knife from Sam's stomach and pressing it against Sam's lips. Sam felt the warm liquid dribble down his face.

"And you know what the best part about this is? He thinks it's your fault." Lucifer watched Sam's eyes widen in disbelief. "Remember how your body took a trip back upstairs? It ran into Dean, and they started hunting together."

Sam frantically shook his head. Lucifer stopped the motion by slicing deeply into Sam's cheek. He watched with fascination as blood pooled out of the cut, and listened intently to Sam's shout.

"Dean," Lucifer continued, "got himself turned into demon bait. It put a blade against his throat and threatened you-" Lucifer paused to grin wickedly. "Soulless you, to step back, or he'd kill Dean." Lucifer bent down dangerously close to Sam's ear. "Guess what you picked?"

Sam fought harder than he ever had before. He tried to wrench out of the blades nailing him the floor, and even considered tearing off his own hands in order to break free.

"Let him go!" Sam demanded. "You already have me, just let Dean go!"

The Devil stood up and made an impatient face at Sam. "What's the magic word?"

Sam closed his eyes. All those years of refusing to beg were about to be wasted. Dean would hate him for this. "Please. Just let him go, please."

Satan smiled at Sam's plea. "No."

Sam shot his eyes open. "What?!"

"I think this will be the best torture yet. You'll be able to hear your brother's screams, and you'll never be able to save him."

* * *

"What do you think?" One of the demons surrounding Dean asked. Another eyed him as he hung limply with hooks digging into his skin.

"I think he's gonna give in a lot quicker this time, now that he's got nobody to stay human for."

"Suppose you're right. I mean, his own brother practically sent him down here."

Dean lifted his head and glared at the demons. The demons exchanged glances.

"Bring her in."

Dean suppressed his shudder. He'd already been tortured just like old times by a bunch of sloppy amateur demons. He wasn't really sure what to expect next.

A twisted figure stepped out from the shadows. It still had the outline of a human, but ages of torment and pain deformed its once beautiful features. It slightly resembled a woman.

"Good to see you again, Dean." The woman like creature greeted.

Dean cocked his head, and the movement caused more blood to ooze from his festering wounds.

"Who… who are… you?"

"Aw, whatsa matter? Don't recognize me? I'm sure that you thought a lot about me after you got back upstairs." She waited for Dean to remember. Growing impatient, she hissed, "If I said, 'First Seal', would that help jog your memory?"

Dean's mouth trembled in realization. "You… you were... the one I-"

"Tortured? Ripped apart? Sliced open? Yeah, that was me. I'm actually a little offended that you don't remember me, Deany."

"Look, I'm sorry-" She forced his silence by shoving a blade in his leg.

"Little late for apologies. Now that the roles are reversed," She leaned in close until their noses were almost touching. "I'm gonna take my time here." She turned towards the other demons. "I'll take care of this myself."

The demons all shared the same look of pleasure, and turned to leave.

The female demon plucked the blade from his leg and considered it for a moment. "Although," she thought out loud as she tapped the knife against her palm, "nothing could hurt you as much as the truth."

Dean took the bait. "What are you talking about?"

"Wellll," she teased, "We're not technically supposed to tell you." The demon licked her lips. "But this is just too good to resist."

"What?" Dean spat. Being in Hell did nothing for his temper.

She relished in his suspense for a few moments longer. "Sammy's here."

Dean felt his eyes widen, but he turned his mouth to a scowl. "No way. Sam's too good to let a couple of dumbass demons get the drop on him."

"You weren't." She pointed out. Dean twitched his lip. "But here's the kicker." She paused, taunting him with her knowledge. "Sam never left."

Dean shook his head. "No… not possible… me and him-"

"Ah, ah, ah, not _all_ of him."

Dean had had enough with her games. "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"His soul Deany-boy! It's still trapped in the cage. It's actually pretty close, so if you listen real hard, maybe you'll hear him."

Dean couldn't help it. He listened, and what he heard nearly broke him.

"DEAN!"

That cry, he'd been hearing it since he was six. Sammy's cry, a desperate, hurting cry, pleading for his brother to come and save him. Dean's heart broke every time he heard it and now, it was all he could hear.

"I think this will be the best torture yet. You'll be able to hear your brother's screams, and you'll never be able to save him."

And so it would go on for the rest of eternity.

* * *

I know I typically end stories with "Carry on my wayward sons" but I feel the need to end this one with holy crap, I'm a horrible person, and I know it, please don't kill me. (Like I did with the Winchesters. Oh gosh, why'd I have to go there?) I may or may not have made myself cry a little.


End file.
